Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Confidence in Heels

I wear a lot of high heels:

And I'm tall.  So, when lovely reader Janet asked me about if I had any tips on confidence for tall girls in heels, saying,I wore a 4inch pair the other night and while my husband loved it I got stares and comments non-stop from strangers on the street and ended up feeling very self-conscious... Would love to hear how you feel/think about tall girls in heels...” I knew I was the right blogger for the job.

As I said in my reply to Janet, I’m thrilled to be asked about this because this is a topic very near and dear to my heart.  I haven’t always been confident enough to wear the 5”-heels that I wear today.  And even though I am, for the most part, very comfortable in my heels, even I get to feeling self-conscious sometimes.  But, I have a few tricks for maintaining confidence even when I’m taller than everyone else in the room.

Here is the thing about wearing high heels.  There will always be stares and there will often be comments.  When I put on my heels, I know for a fact that I am going to get stares.  I know this.  But, I’m six foot tall, so I get stares even when I’m in flats.  Knowing that they’re coming has helped me prepare for them.  And, I’ve found that if I’m confident in my look, it changes the nature of the stares and comments.  Seriously, exuding confidence changes the stares/comments from “Holy smokes, Hubert, look at that freakishly tall woman” to “I wish I were tall; I bet she can reach the top cupboard so easily.”

So, how do you get that confidence?  By being comfortable with your look.  For example, don’t wear shoes that are too tall or otherwise physically uncomfortable for you.  It’s like wearing a short skirt.  It only seems too short to the people around you if you’re tugging on it like it’s too short.  If you rock that skirt like it’s a perfectly acceptable length, people won’t give it a second look (unless its obscenely short, but I know you know better than to do that).  The same is true for high heels.  If you stride in those heels (no tottering) like it’s normal for you to be 6’5”, people will admire your height (and your poise).  They won't question it or try to get you to join their cut-rate circus.

Another tip is to tone down the rest of your outfit when you’re wearing heels.  Most people can accept heels, especially when they’re worn with confidence.  But, a combination of heels, sequins, layered necklaces, a turban and a caftan might just be too much for the average person.  Now, if this is your look, and, mark my words, it will be mylook in about twenty years, then go for it.  But, if you don’t want to draw any more attention to yourself than being 6’5” brings, a less diva-like look is your best bet. 

Which brings us to the third tip.  If a sequined caftan and turban is what you feel best in, then wear it.  When you wear heels, you want to wear what you feel looks best on you.  Because, as I said above, people are going to stare.  So, if you’re going to have all those eyes on you, make sure you’re wearing something you want people to see you in.  Whatever that is. This is especially true if you're new to wearing heels.  You don't want to go too far out of your comfort zone all at once.  Yes, I know it worked for Sandy in Grease, but for us mere mortals, it's best to take baby-steps.  

And, finally, if all else fails, you can always fall back on faking it until you make it.  I'm pretty sure the less-tall among us can sense our discomfort and if they think that you feel weird being so tall, they'll think it's weird too.  But, if you exude comfortable, calm confidence, they'll just figure that everything's kosher.  And, as an added benefit to this particular trick, even if you're not feeling particularly confident in your height, if you act like you are, you'll receive some positive comments that can actually make you feel confident for real.  It might sound crazy, but trust me, it really does work.

This concludes my tips and tricks for wearing heels with confidence.  How about you, Dearest Reader Friends?  Do you have any tricks to share?


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